I'm 18 and about to start college in theautumn. My Mum's name is Anne. She's 39 and teaches class at the localcomprehensive school that I left only ... month earlier. My dad is 44 anda police inspector. He works long hours and is seldom home.I peeled back the paper on the Mars Bar and took a bite and thoughtabout myself and the situation I had created. The first thing thatcomes to mind is that I'm in a spot of trouble for getting caught in mymother's clothes. Not to mention that I was. I'd hear her screaming every other day or night, projecting all the usual uppercase, extended vowels, regardless if she were alone or with some guy who had talked his way upstairs into her bedroom. (I slept in the living room.) If a man could speak an intelligible sentence she'd spread her legs, which is not as welcoming as it sounds. It kept away a lot of drunks. My mom is more innocent than angels and more fucked than Satan's bride.Yes, yes, I digress and digress again. Get use to it. For. More

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