. would it make a difference if I was pretending you were Bernie?” she asked as we slipped beneath the sheets. She had a T-shirt on and I had my box...rs on. We knew what we were there for.“No, I don’t mind. Do you mind if I pretend you’re my sister?”“That would be perfect, Bernie. Just call me Sissy. I always call Bernie Bru-bru.”“Okay, Sissy. Now let me kiss you.” She closed her eyes and turned her head to me. Our lips meshed together and even though it took a little to get started, we finally. .”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a. More

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