Now whenever a girl drinks Perfect Girlfriend Juice, she'll develop a crush on the first guy she talks to afterward, feel compelled to ask him about h...s Perfect Girlfriend, and will immediately become whatever she hears him say! What do you think?" I didn't mean it literally! Jesus, Christine, that should be impossible, how on earth did you manage to... you know what, nevermind. At this point, it doesn't even matter. Just get the head of distribution in here so we can start the recall. I just. I was creative and talented. Hell, I was a Mensa caliber worker. That’s right a card carrying, one hundred percent pure genius, but still an asshole all the same. I suppose by now you’ve figured out what I look like. Well you could be wrong there. Look, I’m no Russell Crowell, but I’m not Don Knotts either. I stand at just six feet, weight in at one hundred eighty pounds, and have a thirty-three, not thirty-four which is more typical, inch waist. I shave every day, no scruffy beard for this. More

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