“I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who wa... snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me. Breakfast needs me."Gently she tried to correct his English, "You mean 'I need breakfast', darling." No," a trace of irritation in his voice, "I mean that I must be on duty downstairs while our guests have breakfast."'He said "our" guests. Perhaps... ' she thoughtAs most couples appeared in the breakfast room the Officer would politely provide a plate of breakfast to his companion of the night. Lady Johnson thought that some women looked as though they were at least contented with what had. More

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