We were on the websites, on craigslist, we were going to the swinger club at least 1-2 times a month. We were hosting parties at our house, parties th...t would sometimes have 12 or more couples. We loved it. The sex, the fun, the friends. It was like going into Baskin Robbins and being able to try different flavors. At first our rules were to only play together. We had no problems with sharing each other, but only if the other one was present. Another thing was that Sara never wanted to hook. My initial reaction was to want to run and hide, something I had never felt before. I kept to myself more, rarely speaking to friends and family. For the first time in my life, I withdrew inward, wallowing in my own self-doubts. The hurt and anger I had bottled up inside was something I did not know how to express. Perhaps it was because I was never really taught how. Or maybe it was some subconscious wishful thinking on my part that no one would ever find out the level of hurt and shame I was. More

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