I knew, though I didnt stop to think about it, that she wasnt having orgasms, but I thought she just wasnt that interested in sex, that all she really...wanted was to please me. I would use her to get off quickly, roll over, and go to sleep. I never really thought about her pleasure or satisfaction. We probably could have gone along that way for another ten years. However, I was laid off from my job, and had difficulty finding a comparable job. Things would change. The children were entering. I was good with a knife- you have to be to be a successful camper-but while I just didn't want to live, I certainly didn't want to hurt myself in the process of not-living.I settled on the easy out-pills. Sleeping pill prescriptions are ridiculously easy to get, and I didn't think I'd need more than a couple of months' worth. Combine them with some leftover painkillers and I figured it would be a nice, easy, relaxing drift away.And the location. It was a valley about four summer-hours' hike. More

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