‘Well, there is a spot on your lungs,’ he said. ‘Actually several!’ I looked right at him, there was sadness, almost defeat in his eyes. ‘Ho... bad?’ I asked. ‘Well, it is past operating.’ He said flatly. ‘But there are a number of things we can try.’ He went through the options, I didn’t like any of them. I would be very ill from the treatments, but there was a ‘chance’, he told me. ‘What kind of chance?’ I asked him. ‘Maybe 10%, that depends a lot on you!’ ‘And if I do nothing?’ I asked. ‘You. I cannot stand the sterile feeling in hospitals. I hate the walls. The green tile they use and the floor with the colored lines that direct you to where you need to go. I hate the smell. But today the smell is worse then ever. I will never forget this day and this smell. I try to explain to the nurse what happened. The first nurse pushes the door open and walks over to the nurse that is asking me some questions and whispers something in her ear. She looks at Nick and I and slides down the desk. More

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