’ Anne grunted as she pushed, and another, smaller, turd dropped into the water. ‘It’s alright, Barnaby. It’s just that I don’t want my neph...w getting arrested or being sent down from Oxford for disgracing himself. I know your father regards those tuition fees as an investment, and I also know he wants to see a return on them. He’s not like your Uncle Brian, who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.’ Another rather squeaky fart escaped from Anne’s bottom and a rapid succession. She didn’t find a job. *** The night passed with no tooth-baring intruders and she awoke with a churning stomach. The Boy was going to take her for a picnic and she had to be normal for an entire day. She rifled through her clothes, finding nothing suitable. It was all the sort of thing that a very sad, lonely girl might wear. There was a pretty sweater at the back of the wardrobe but that wasn’t coming off the hanger. It hadn’t since the last time she’d worn it. Is that new? said the Man. It. More

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