It was sweet and loving and nothing more. To that point I wasn’t looking for more and my husband wasn’t either. However, that night I noticed that...I was a little more aroused than normal and found myself holding back from being more aggressive towards my husband in bed. I couldn’t bring myself to do what I wanted which was very frustrating to me. Fifteen years of marriage had apparently made me fear changing our routine even though I wanted to and thought my husband would like it. I was also. I feel so horribly exposed with her foot against my groin, and yet the fear itself is arousing: it would take so very little for her to hurt me. I love her and trust that she would never cause me more pain than I can handle but part of me still wants to flinch at her touch. She smiles, as if aware of the conflict that runs through me, then she stands and speaks, “Look at me!” For the first time since I have entered the room I let my eyes meet her own. Her pupils have dilated making her eyes. More

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