He looked really old and frail, as if he knew he would never see his favourite youngest son again. And I suppose I’ve known that since then, too. Bu... I had to come, didn’t I, Edgar? I couldn’t just leave him here alone with no-one to care if he was alive or dead?”“Of course you had to come,” I said, covering both her hands, which cradled her tea cup, “you loved him, you keep telling me that.”“I do, don’t I?” she said. “I know that I am ridiculous, because I continually flirt with people. I. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the. More

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