I love my wine. It might be my only friend at this point.I pulled into my driveway and collected my things and headed inside my house. A few seconds a...ter that, there was a knock at my door. Really? Two unannounced visits in the same week? Not cool, people.I reluctantly opened the door and standing in front of me, with that stupid smirk on his face, was David.“Hi.”I didn’t answer him. I was in the mood to be a bitch.“Sorry about the intrusion.”“What do you want…David, was it?”“Yes. I locked. “Definitely a D, maybe double DD”“Double DD would be DDDD you plank. Nah, she’s got padding, she’s a C”“Whaaa? You gotta be joking, them’s a D, easy”“What you reckon Steve, you’s at the front ogling her all lesson?”“What? Oh dunno, what’s it matter, you’ll never get to see them you pervs. She isn’t going to rip open her blouse and shout ‘come and squeeze me’ to a bunch of spotty pervs like you is she?”That’s me; Steve. Steve the world famous ecologist – that was the aim. Still, nothing happens. More

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