I remember fighting with my emotions at that time. In spite of some heavy petting, through our relationship, I still managed to hold on to my virtue. ...n several occasions, Pete would try to get me to go further but I could tell by his actions, even though boys that age don’t like to admit it, he was as much a virgin as I was. I was determined to keep us both that way until our wedding night, but the thought of not seeing him for months on end, and him being around all those college girls had me. I was a submissive pretending to be a dominant. What did I know about anything anymore? I still had the soliloquy to write for the play but that was out of the question now. I sat at my desk and hurt, physically hurt, watching the flat, bright sun on the shattered snow in the park, swollen with gin some mornings, the television on all the time, commercials droning for car insurance and long distance service, news, talk. I read about voudun—Voodoo—and the idea that we’re all possessed by. More

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