As difficult as it was, I made arrangements with the adoption agency that my doctor gently steered me to when I finally broached the subject with her....Maybe it was weakness, but I knew I wasn't able to bear the strain of being a single mother of a bi-racial child. I feared that I would be resentful, that I would heap my own failings and the collapse of my old life on an innocent child. Much better to find a home where that child could grow up in safety and love.I often thought about Ivan, at. Lips on my lips, lips on my neck, lips on my shoulder, so soft and so warm. Your stubble would rub against my skin and I would comment on how sexy it feels and you would say, ‘I wore it just for you.’ You would smile and I would feel the shape of your smile hot against my neck. We would turn so we’re front to back, your front to my back, your back to the wall. Your lips would kiss softly down my neck, so tender that I swear my body is melting against yours. Your hands would touch my waist and. More

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