I feel rested for some strange reason.Perhaps it is melancholy.Perhaps it is nerves.I do know the darkness is there. I can see it. I can feel it. But ...t does not scare me. I may not be out of the woods but I have a bright torch and a spare (backup!) at the ready.I always do the backup thing. In all facets of my life. You name it and I have a backup or spare in place.I may have also forgotten to mention that along with my therapist, I did tell my sister all about my revalations. I even told her. I was really diisapointed but he was experienced and laid me on my back and put cushions under my bum. he started pushing his large mushroom head into me' the pain was really bad but he knew to go real slow and kissed me. the first kiss with a man. It made me so turned on I became rock hard as his tonge explored my mouth. The pain began to ease and he started thrusting in and out. I had been really shy and not said anything until then. But it was so good I felt his back and bum with my hands. More

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