"You fucked her last night, didn't you? Breakup sex for old time's sake?"I shook my head. "No, the only thing that got fucked up last night was my kid...ey and a bottle of sake. Unless she came in and raped me in my sleep, I didn't touch her."I paused and thought for a moment, then staggered to my feet, head still hurting. "But let me point out one little thing, Irene: she told me she loved me, she told me she wanted to spend her life with me, and then she fucked you as soon as my back was. His eyes widened and he grabbed for the phone again. To the secretary, I asked, “Is the White House still evacuated?”“Yes, sir.”“Well, let’s un-evacuate it. We can’t work out of a hole in the ground.” To the rest of my detail, I said, “Well, let’s go, fellows. Show me the way out.”The White House is normally bustling with people, so it was eerily silent as we went in. I headed directly to my office. I wanted to start making calls, but I realized I didn’t even know how to get an outside line.. More

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