I've enjoyed playing with myself ever since I was about 11 years old. The first time I can really remember though was when I was 14 and at high sch...ol. I was walking around the back of the school golf course to get to the rugby field when I heard voices coming from the nearby shed. Curious as to who was dodging out of rugby and hoping to join them I started walking to the door when I realised it was the hushed voices of a boy and a girl, the sound of childish giggling and sloppy wet. Caterers and florists scurried up to her, she made polite suggestions and they ran off, some seemed to approach in terror and left looking relieved, as though they’d escaped with their lives. All in all, I thought she was running a tight ship. Little did I know. A portly young man in a white tux rolled across the lawn and walked up to her: ‘Hi Mom, who’s this?’ ‘Hank, this is my son Jerry, Jerry, Hank is my date for the evening.’ Jerry’s left eyebrow arched up: ‘Oh?’ It felt like the guy was. More

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