He’s always smiling and says “Hi” but what I really notice about him is the huge bulge in his shorts or sweats. It’s around lunchtimes or afte... dinner that I see him, and I kind of giggle at his clothes. Thursday, my husband was going to the Bruins game, and I went straight to the gym from work. I changed outfits in the locker room and only older soccer mom douchebags were there, the typical mid-forty to sixty-year-old bottle blondes with no asses who eat only sushi and salads. I always start. You’re their president. Tell them what to do. If they don’t do it, it’s their fault. After all, you have it on your bio for college admissions. They might check that you held the post, but I bet I could put down that I held it and not get caught. They are certainly not going to check how successful you were. After all, nobody but you thinks it necessary for the group to change.” Colin was being cynical about claiming to be UMW president. He was a Presbyterian, though he hadn’t darkened the door. More

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