’ ‘Oh really? How could it be anything different?’ ‘Well, for a start, it wasn’t an affair.’ ‘It was a one-night stand?’ She regarded ...im with cynicism. ‘That’s all right then, that’s completely different.’ He said nothing, instead putting his foot to the floor as they approached a stretch of dual carriageway and allowing the roar of the engine to express his obvious frustration. Only after they’d overtaken three lorries and a tractor did he drop back into the nearside lane. ‘It wasn’t a. Well, she used to be my friend. Anyway, this advertisement was about how to drive a man wild, I think it was seven steps or something like that. Maybe it was seven minutes. It was for a CD or VCR tape and Carol Ann checked the wrong box. She wanted the CD so she could play it on her computer, like before she had a date, well, that's another story. She ordered the VCR tape by mistake and came pounding on my door one evening, all in a rush. She had a date and no VCR and I did. We watched the tape. More

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