Left on my own, nobody interfering with me and hardly pushed at work. If it hadn't been for the loneliness bird nesting in my stomach from time to tim..., my life was my own. I didn't keep in touch with my Mother, nor did she with me, though she did know where I was as Christmas and Birthday cards arrived roughly when they were due.The bar I mentioned was along a side street, one of the few in London that hadn't been blighted by some theme or other. It was named "The Duke of Marlborough," but the. It hit me that they were, in their own minds, seeing a "real" man. A black man. And, this seemed to be the cause of them "fawning" all over him like school girls, and obediently listening to words and commands.It was clear that all us white men feel helpless, humiliated and embarrassed by how a black man takes complete charge over white women. It is defeating for most, if not all of us. Now, I was seeing this on a more personalized level. This thought, alone, caused my already small package to. More

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