It was torture then and it still is now. Do you understand why? Can you see that I can’t even think about another man? I was 16 when this happened, ...nd a fairly naïve 16 at that.’ She seemed defeated after this outburst, flat, lifeless, as though something had been drained from her body. I felt desperately sorry for her. I could see how she would be affected by something like this for the whole of her life. I continued to cuddle her and ‘sshhhsshhh’ her as she cried on my shoulder. Then she. I found myself staring at her: the wedding dress, as she looked in her dresser for something. And expecting me to help her change.She was so beautiful in that dress. Too beautiful. That shouldn't bother me, but I couldn't help it: after all there had been that incident.Just one time: one night. I don't know what sort of mood got us to try it: I know we'd been drinking. And silly: we'd been silly that night. And somehow it had happened. And the next morning, I'd found myself lying in my bed,. More

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