My excitement turned to disgust again as I laid there talking to myself. The bad part about all of it was I was answering myself. So I guess this was ...he first sign of going out of my mind. First, I thought to myself, ‘Can Ballard be right? Am I really nothing but a slut, a woman that lives to just fuck men?’ I said out loud, ‘Hell, no! All that is going on is you have been tricked into screwing men for his pleasure, not yours.’ Then I thought, ‘You can’t help it, you have always loved sex. Sex. Not always fun and hard work. It got to the point when in my teens that I did most of the house work by myself and that's where I get the "sissy maid" side of me! lol They taught me how to really clean house that's for sure, I still do it today! Lol. Even so young there was something so exciting in me for them to boss me around and even put be down and fuss at me. It certainly gave me dirty submissive feminine feelings and fantasies. I still don't understand why one's brain can be so cross. More

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