‘Are you there, Miss Moneypenny?’ ‘Yes, I’m here. Sorry. The name James Bond always has — James Bond always has –has — OOOOOHHH!’ ‘H...s what?’ ‘Sorry again. That man’s name just has the strangest effect on me. It makes me sigh and get all dreamy, and all tingly deep down inside, if you know what I mean.’ After two years of marriage, Jane very well knew exactly the kind of tingly feeling to which Moneypenny referred. Just Brad’s touch, or the sound of Brad’s deep baritone voice, made Jane all wet. Even I was tired, and not just from the shagging, some faint residue of chivalry had obliged me to insist that it was my task to carry endless rubbish-stuffed binliners outside to await the refuse collectors. The girls basked in my approval, their faces shiny with honest sweat and wreathed in blissful well-fucked smiles. As they gazed adoringly at me I almost burst with pride. How could it be wrong, I asked myself smugly, to be the instrument that generated so much pleasure? Fran seemed to. More

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