To grieve was to acknowledge it. It made it real to him. He didn’t want it to be real – but it was firmly in the outer circle.He could not control...it. He felt the tears drip down his face and he let them come.His cousin’s death was more loss. He felt he should be inured to loss by now. He’d lost so much. A mother he couldn’t even remember. A father. Another mother, this time with sisters. Mr. Alvarez. The Cholos. So much loss weighed on him. Some of these he’d dealt with before – many times. I entered the sauna 1st and said OK lads. yes mate. then Ann followed me and i seen them look straight away at her tits Ann knew they were looking and she put on a bit more of a wobble when she walked just to make them bounce. 1 of the lads said wait and we will move so you 2 can have that side of the sauna,,cheers lads that's kind of you. so when she sat down she sat with her legs open so they could read her lips i whispered to her stop teasing, we both laughed a little and then just sat back. More

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