"I put my robe on and headed into the bath. He'd put something in the water that smelled like lavender and created a thin film of bubbles. The scent w...s soothing as I dropped my robe on the floor and stepped into the steaming water.At what point had Evan become more than just another guy? I puzzled on it while I floated in the warm water. I tried to decide when my feelings had become something other than just friendly, but there wasn't really a single moment I could point to and say, "There,. And I... Hate it. Idon't know what to say. I just feel... wrong in my own body. Everythingfeels wrong. Lately I... I've been observing girls in a very differentway. I do like girls, but lately I have felt... jealous. It's so weird. Ifeel jealous of the way they look, especially now that I entered this newschool. Most girls in my class are a year older and they're... beautiful.They're just incredibly stunning. And I... hate that. I hate the fact thatevery day I'm becoming less like them. I have. More

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