I still haven't figured out exactly how I conned Sarah into marrying me, but I did. That was the single greatest accomplishment of my life, or at leas... the best I ever managed on my own. Our two daughters were a joint effort and the source of tremendous pride for us both.Sarah never spoke much about Jason. She knew I wasn't comfortable with that part of her life. Invariably, well meaning people in the community would bring his name up from time to time. I always marveled that these people. Oh FUCKK!!!!...shut up!!! Iyelled at myself...and told myself to breathe and enjoy it, stopworrying, only joy together with him so far...all the worry is in me,it's not him, it's in me....My long walks were sometimes more confusing than enlightening, but theyalways made me feel better, and calmer eventually, and more willing tojust go.One step in front of another, trisha, down the path of submission to him.Now, I could feel a lightness inside me, a lifting of clouds, ofpessimism, of darkness. More

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