She started to remember what he had said about eating smaller meals, more nutritious and without sugars and saturated fats … but she didn’t know h...w to do that. She stopped drinking the diet soda, that she knew how to do … she switched to water. And that was the hardest change she had ever made in her life. She was brought up drinking soda. And so she used that water bottle like a crutch, like a baby’s pacifier clutching to it all day long. And the temptations, the cravings were getting worse.. "You're going to hate this and you're going to hate me." No." I cut her off before she could continue. "This whole business is beyond impossible, but the one thing that's even more impossible is that I could ever hate you. That I could ever do anything but love you. Now just talk, and we'll deal with it. Or—" I threw up my arms in exasperation. "Or I'll deal with it, anyway. If—and to me that's a pretty big 'if'—if you really are dead. But that's one I honest and truly don't want to believe.". More

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