If my jaw was on the bar as I suspected, I would never notice. Her veil dance continued from this hallowed perch as she felt the music move through he.... For all I know, we may have been there like that for hours. Time seemed to stand still as the image of Mona dancing on the bar was etched into my permanent memory. But eventually the music must have changed, or the mood lightened for she was finally back at my side seated on her barstool. I think perhaps the mood and the beer combined to take. But my female haircut, brows, and lips had turned my male alter ego into strangely androgynous creature. Many who encountered me as a male could not tell if I was boy or girl. The habits of my mother - ingrained into much of my behavior - made the matter worse. I discovered quickly that people are very uncomfortable with androgyny and treat those in the gray area with hostility.Facing these obstacles, it became easier for me to be Melly all the time.So I gave up what tenuous connection I had. More

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