I'm so screwed up. Maxie deserves better."I was surprised to find Alec holding my hand, more surprised to find myself in tears."Let Maxie decide what ...e deserves. Here," Alec handed me a card, "I think you should go and talk to my friend. He has a standing appointment booked for you. If you take the bus now you'll get there in time." But..." How could I tell my secrets to a stranger? It had taken me ages to even think of telling Maxie, and I was in love with him. Even in my head the words hurt.. Here I am in the gym. You can see the definition on my muscles. It looks so sexy!Here we are swimming in the lake and everyone is happy.Here I am on my knees looking up. Someone stands behind me, their hand rests on my shoulder. I smile: fulfilled, happy, safe, at peace.They are taking something from me again. The sense of anger I used to have because I had been stolen. The determination I used to keep inside me, the determination that one day I would see someone again – but I can hardly. More

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