"I'm sorry Alice, I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I didn't mean for you, Imean I didn't want you to go through that but it was the only thing Icould thi...k of," I said. "Please, I'm, I'm so sorry," I pleased with her.Alice just looked at me, and got up to get out of the booth.That's it then I though as I remembered the hurt and betrayal in hereyes. I'm so small and weak, so pathetic. She deserves so much more thanI can give her. She deserves to be with someone who can protect her,someone who could. I would be breathing heavy and would take a few minutes to calm down then we would continue home. In bed I would masturbate like hell thinking about it and came to realize it couldn't go on, I wanted it and was weakening, but I was scared of pregnancy.One night in the movies, Derek and I had our coats over our laps and holding hands and I was leaning my head against his shoulder when he let go my hand for a moment. From his movements I thought he was 'adjusting' himself as men would on. More

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