.A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean... almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor. “If you don’t then I may just strip off your clothes and have my way with you in the grass over by that tree.” “Oh, I have plans for you,” you said in a surprisingly serious tone. You got out of your chair and moved over to me and sat in my lap. You put your arms around my neck and held your mouth just an inch from mine. “Since we’ve been here you have made love to every part of me and everything you have done to me has been wonderful. I have loved every second of it and would like to start all. More

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