We were all confused by what had happened. They knew my mind was overloaded and I needed a while alone. After they left, my thoughts were my own again... but my mind was lonely and empty. . I wondered if it were mutual. From far away, I heard voices whisper, ‘Yes.’ My nurses arrived half and hour later. I was sitting at the table. My mind was in a confused loop about my dinner guests. I was trying to decide what was spoken, what was imagined, what was real, what was their practiced skill with men. He took me,gently... shattered broken... slowly he began to heal me. Taking me armin arm, he finally got me to walk among people again. With him I beganto like my body again. I trained and worked at it. And in that time, myheart slowly melted. He urged me to break loose from him but... it feltso wrong. I called myself Carmel; I enjoyed doing things for him, anddoing stuff. I wanted him to be proud of me. I knew I was winning him.That I wanted to be his lover... I soon realized. As he urged me. More

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