I, meanwhile, had never been in a serious relationship. In looking back, I think part of me knew that none of the boys I had been intimate with could ...ffer me what I wanted, even if at the time I couldn't have put it into words. I rebelled against my desires, thinking that if I were strong enough, I could push them away. I cut my hair short, and got piercings and adopted a hard personality. This served me well at University, and got me a degree with honors in history, though I have no idea even. "A few days later, it dawned on me. Colleen was trying to seduce my 17-year-old self and I was too blind to see it! That fact haunted me forever. I would fantasize about my encounter with Colleen ending differently, masturbating furiously, dreaming of cumming inside of her instead of all over my hand.I had been having that dream again of my 17-year-old self joyously fucking the hot 23-year-old, Mom sent me to when the thunderstorm rolled in.The lights flickered and went out. I turned on a. More

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