. Especially my heart and my soul.Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't met Sarah. Idefinitely wouldn't have nearly as many amazin... friends as I do now. I'dbarely have any friends at all, certainly no female friends. Would Ihave found a girlfriend? Maybe. But I'd be forever fighting the urge todress up in her clothes, as I obviously wouldn't have any of my own- asI would almost certainly still be known as 'Nick' and not 'Nikki'. Iwould never have had the courage to come out. As a girl myself, I knew what sexual abuse was about, most girls experience sexual advances, and in a lot of instances, we helped create it, and men reacted to all our wrong signals.I breast fed my son, and in doing so, there was an unbreakable bond we had, one that mothers feel as I did, and when my husband left me, that determination to make him more of a man than his father was, crossed forbidden barriers, in a sexual sense, like sharing a double bed, a divorced woman and her son, poverty. More

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