A process that every person, trained as a pleasure slavelike I was, knows how to do. We can sublimate ourselves and go beyond. Thisis a game we sexual...masochists play not only with the Top/Dominant but withour own bodies and our own minds. We have to be able to lose ourselves and stillpay attention to the wishes, instructions and needs of our tops. Their desiresare foremost to the true sub in a service scenario. A place I was trying toget too. Half in, Half out. Still every scene is different,. I mention dating, finding a boyfriend that I can be free and open to go and do things with in the daylight instead of our midnight, unseen passions. I don’t tell you these things to anger you or make you feel bad. I tell you because I want you to know what I crave. And when I do date, and things lead to other dirtier things, I want you to be prepared.There are times when I want nothing more than to make you jealous and angry. So angry you break all of the rules and come to me, wherever I am,. More

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