I need to be whole for them.In losing Anita, I seem to have also lost myself. I mean, I'm a proud guy. I've always been the one others call when they ...ave problems. I was in the Navy and did two deployments to Iraq, so I'm not a crybaby, I'm a realist. The diagnosis was made, and we sought treatment. We did all we could, but cancer is an invitation to the other side to which, in most cases, the RSVP can not be withdrawn.Nothing motivates me now. It's as if I'm on autopilot, and everything I do. Finally I found what I was looking for on Craigslist. A 22 year old had an ad looking for an older BBW. I replied and we sent pictures back and forth. We arranged to meet ( I like to meet them first) at a bar and we chatted to see if he was right and what we would do. He had said if this worked out he would like to do more with her. I asked what that was and he said he would wait and tell me if this worked out. So we set it up he would come over to watch the Nebraska football game against. More

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