Sandy let me in around ten, as always with the big hug. ‘Jeff’s in the kitchen.’ She sang it. The beans were boiling and he was skimming off som... foamy white stuff with a big spoon. ‘What is that?’ I asked. ‘The farts.’ ‘Jeff! That’s not you. Where did that come from?’ ‘That’s what Sam calls it. It’s actually the oligosaccharides, which are -‘ ‘Okay, it’s the farts.’ Does the rest of his family find these long explanations interesting and endearing? Or do they sometimes want to scream, like I. ‘Damn it, Porkie, you’ll have to sell that yacht of yours,’ one of the guys quipped. ‘You should have gotten the goods on her when you had the chance,’ another said. ‘What goods?’ someone else asked. ‘Oh, damn it, Edwina was getting herself seen-to by Noddy Morris for years,’ Porkie replied. ‘I let it ride as it kept her out of my hair. Noddy was welcome to the cow. At least whilst he was rogering her, I didn’t have too, and she wasn’t watching what I was getting up too closely either. I never. More

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