My mom pulled out Luther and spanked me ten times slowly across the ass. George and Lori laughed the entire time while I said things like “Two, Than... you, Ma’am! I am sorry, Miss Lori, for calling you fat. You are beautiful on the inside.”“Three! Thank you, Ma’am, I mean you are beautiful on the outside as well. That came out wrong!”“Four, Thank you, Ma’am, the next wild party I throw, I will invite you for sure.”“Five! Thank you, Ma’am, I won’t throw anymore wild parties obviously at my mom’s. . no, I’d have to say a colleague of mine has me beat. Dr. Nick Singh managed to convince himself that he did not exist despite counseling with 14 psychotherapists. Realist: Which psycho ward does he live in today? Philosopher: He doesn’t. Three years ago he jumped off a building. He was so convinced he didn’t exist he figured no one would notice. Realist: Well, did someone notice? Philosopher: Yes. He landed on a Mercedes in the middle of rush hour. Realist: My God! Philosopher: I know.. More

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