It was bad enough that I couldn’t go on HRT to help start my transitioning as long as I was in the military. I starting thinking that I could never ...ecome the true woman I longed to be all my life. I felt like I was a sham for what I was. I felt so screwed up. I even started questioning if I should go ahead with finding an apartment for us to share. The dark thoughts, that I thought I had shaken off when I was a teenager, started creeping back into my mind. I really felt, for the first time. I stand there for a minute waiting for her to come after me, but she doesn't. Instead I hear the soft sound of my cousin crying and have never felt so ashamed of myself. I go back to my room and strip until I'm only in my boxers and fall asleep. ***When I look over at the clock it's 12:10 am and I'm completely exhausted, but snap back to reality as I hear the raucous caused by the room above me. I crawl out of bed and head upstairs. Aunt Silvia's room has no lights on and I go in there to see. More

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