Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5... One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the. I know! I was scared! Scared to be next! You at least were old enough to survive! What would I have done as a preteen girl? Sold my body? Gotten raped night and day? Got hooked on crack or heroin or crystal meth? I was terrified to learn that our parents didn’t love us unconditionally after all. The lesson that I learned was that they loved a certain ideal or dream of us, but not the messy reality. Once their illusions were shattered, we were both doomed. I lived in dread, every single fucking. More

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