I felt both afraid and exhilarated at this unexpectedattention, then I came down to earth with a bump. He thought I was awoman, and even worse there w...s a possibility he fancied me. I had toget him into bed as soon as possible. I stopped abruptly and pursed mylips to stop the shocked laugh. What I meant was I had to get him tosleep as soon as possible. In the morning I would be Donald again and Icould pretend Deborah had left.I strode into the lounge to find Tom emerging from the kitchen with. Call it what you will. She was my drug, and like every addict, when you can’t get your fix, your fix becomes your world. I knew from the start she would not be faithful. She told me as much on our first date. “If you want me,” she said, “this is how it has to be.” And I wanted her. But still, nights like these made me mad, vengeful and driven by jealous lust. I drank bourbon on ice as I sat waiting for her, watching the clock, muttering to myself and imagining what might have been happening to. More

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