The phone rings at about 3pm and I was closest, so I go over and pick it up. It was Becky’s attorney. I look at her out of the corner of my eye and ...he sees me but does not approach. He tells me that the funeral home let him know that if Becky would like, due to the circumstances…they would be willing to do a cremation and put the remains in a small discreet vault in one of their Mortuary’s so she could visit in privacy if she wanted to and not have to go out to a grave and be in the open… I. Sometimes I was even angry. But now I feel nothing. Nothing but what HEhas told me to feel. I do nothing except what HE tells me to do. I amonly a toy, and as I must make sure to remind myself in so many waysthat this is, after all, all my fault.My instructions before each Visit are very clear, and I follow themwithout thinking. Thinking is something people do, and as I said, I amonly a toy. I must prepare myself as HE has told me to before I enter HISdoor. At one time, that was a hard. More

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