As if someone had taken all the really awful 'Jelly Belly' jelly bean flavours, like 'Green Tea' and 'Puppy Sick' and 'Buttered Popcorn' and 'Hamster ...roppings' and 'Liquorice' and 'Squid Ink', and mixed them all together into one of those superfood smoothies that pretentious beardy wankers and their insufferably smug significant others sup whilst clutching their Fjallraven backpacks as they wander up and down Brick Lane looking for Rough Trade East. And, having concocted the equivalent of. I will locate the most soiled spot on the clothing. b. I will hold this spot to my nose, and will breath in deeply through my nose - making sure to get the most pungent possible smell of the soiled garment. c. As I breath in, I will say, out-loud: "I worship this smell."If the garment is a pair of panties, briefs, or underpants, I will find the inside gusset, the part of the underwear which was in the most intimate contact with the wearer's crotch, and I will place a 'worshipful kiss' on it,. More

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