I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about mast...rbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me. But then you meet somebody who just doesn't fit into that group of people. Maybe a woman like Ronnie, though I have to tell you I think she's a pretty rare type. Or even a woman like Tiffany Moore, who could use some money, but has the kind of standards that won't let her get it just any old way. Anyway, it makes you reflect on the world in general and kind of gives you a wakeup call.I thought about them both, for a few days. I suppose there are a lot of women who have some resemblance in. More

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