I suspected the true cause of his perspiration was more likely to be the effort of marshalling such a deliciously risible argument. ‘College, meet ...avid.’ I shook his hand which he held longer than strictly necessary. Donna noticed this and I watched as she was clearly hatching some sort of plan. ‘I never asked you before, College, but have you ever had a boyfriend?’ I told her that I had had two, the first at the age of 8 and the second at the age of 16, this latter being for the sake of. We had a long talk and I told her all about you, yes she knows your physical feature and she like me is so lonely for company. Unfortunately she has been single all her life, only having had two men friends. Well that is what she told me. She also has a widowed older sister living in the area, who she says would love your attention, but that is up to you Duncan.If you are reading this letter, she likes you. This was the agreement we made. She would only hand you this letter if she approved of. More

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