Failing that, I glanced at the floor and discovered my critical mistake. Instead of grabbing lube from my junk drawers, I had mistakenly picked up Gor...lla Glue. The harder I tugged the more it hurt. (I seem to recall Daddy saying that on occasion ) I even resorted to prayer like a convict on death row. I knew it was futile. I've always suspected God has Prayer ID on his Motorola flip phone and when my name popped up he would tell his secretary, Marilyn Monroe, not to pick up or she'd be fucking. Still not impressed by Susans remarks I said, And… this is important to me because? Dont be rude, she scolded me. I closed my mouth and let my wife finish what she had to say. As I was saying, Mrs. Kolowoski needed to have some Botox done to her face for a big costume party she is having in two weeks and we were invited to go, she said. I lifted one of my eye brows in disbelief and said, So you kept me in this god-forsaken mall for six hours to tell me we are going to a costume party? My wife. More

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