.and I hated it. Iwas just so tired of it all, but there was nothing I could do. I justfelt...trapped.For most of my life, I'd tried earning my dad'... approval, but it veryrarely came at all. He had strict standards about what it meant to be aman and about how a real man should behave. And whenever I didn't meetthose standards, his disapproval could be quite painful.When I was ten years old, I'd found my mom's old flute, the one she usedto play when she was in high school. She'd given it to. The coat covered the breast formsnicely and I looked pretty normal and nobody would know I was femmed upunderneath. I also got some KY jelly as I had learned my lesson aboutVaseline.It was a Saturday night and I went to John's house. The lights were onand my heart was pounding as I rang the door bell. He answered the doorand looked very surprised to see me. I said hello and told him that ifthis was a bad time or if he didn't ever want to see me again I would notbother him. He had a funny. More

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