” The way he said it was almost a challenge, like he knew that this was the sort of lie I’d been telling myself my whole life.I swallowed hard, �...Apparently not. So uh… shall I put the condom on or do you want to?” I fished the Trojan from my bra.He laughed, “I’ll have to be hard first for that to work.”Right! I felt like such a dork! On the other hand, I couldn’t blame myself too much, normally penises weren’t this big when they weren’t hard, and it was like an optical illusion or something. A. We are so sorry we said. English are ya, she replied, ya should watch where ya going next time, look at me fruit there, all up the floor. It’ll be all bruised by morning tomorrow ya know. I kindly offered to pay for it to be replaced, she accepted. We truly are sorry we said again. Don’t worry about it, it’s grand, she said with a smile. She turned to sandy and laid her hand on her shoulder, ya got a fine husband there, he’s a keeper, ya know, make sure ya don’t let him go. Sandy looked at me. More

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