It felt like there was a part of me that longed to be released. I think this is why I could never bear the thought of letting go of you. I knew, that ...espite all my efforts, the house, cars, and wife, that I would never be part of society. Not without my book of dirty little secrets. Oh my dear, dear, Diary, I have such a nice one. If you recall back into my teenage years, I would sneak into my older sisters room and touch her in her sleep. It has always. been a rush. To feel my heart beating. ’ She always smiled as she said those words, dreamily, as if it was the greatest high one could ever get. I’d look at her as if she was insane and she’d just say, ‘you’ll get it when it happens. It’ll be amazing.’ But it wasn’t. Blaine was an idiot. It wasn’t amazing or heavenly or anything even close to any of that nonsense. When I woke up on a strange black couch in a room I wasn’t familiar with, wearing scuffed and wrinkled clothing, my heart was racing — and not with excitement. My hand. More

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