All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5” long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with ...wo itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best...I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit, ‘ while I’m reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt. Some worker found me and smiled kindly and told me to grab an outfit and get ready to just be as sexy as possible. I was contestant #4. I would have stood in stupidity for hours had my inner monster not come around the corner dressed to show and slapped me in the face. Within minutes I was dressed and actually becoming excited about what was about to happen. Before I knew it I was called up next, sucking in a deep breath I struck a sexy pose as the curtain rose and strode out on the stage with. More

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