I could never understand my feelings toward him. I loved him, but I didnt trust him. There had been far too many times I had spent in his bed while he...had another girl in his heart. Although I knew he felt the same way I did about him. But things were never simple between us. We seemed to constantly be playing a game. One I was losing. I took a big sip of my double vodka and coke. I was tipsy. He wasnt drinking but I needed to, there was no way I could ender what I was doing to myself by being. "I'd had the 'birds and bees' talk with Tommy and his twelve-year-old brother Timmy when Wanda had split. They wanted to know why she'd run off and I didn't sugar coat the pill. At the time I didn't much care how it would make the boys feel about or think about their mother so I told them she left because she was a whore. That led into a discussion about sex and by the time I was done (I used my copies of Playboy as training aids) the boys were well versed in what went on between boys and. More

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